Kristen Pfaff biography: representation for it, my TEDx talk, its first chapter and who has become a part of it...

Now being at the point where the first chapter of this book is finally out in the world it is remarkable to think I was first inspired to write a book about Kristen Pfaff from Hole when I read her mother Janet's book about her daughter's life (available here) and it contained excerpts from Kristen's diary.

An entry in which she describes as a young girl having a conversation with the sea was perhaps the most beautiful piece of writing I've read and it probably began all this work. I have been working on it with Jason Pfaff after I got in touch with him. Jason gives his side of how we decided to work together on this podcast.

One reason the book has taken longer to write than anyone might have expected is revelations about Pfaff from people who knew her are still being offered to me. However much I know about Kristen the more news about the book comes out the more people come to Jason and me to talk and open up about their recollections of her. Jason Pfaff and I have been working hard on this book for a few years now. 

The book draws from Kristen’s archive of essays from university, in which she often roamed around subjects and (to her tutors delight) offered her views on everything from feminism to religion and capitalism in her frequently witty asides. There are letters, and diary recordings covering hours of her time when she first joined Hole and later when she was in recovery which have not previously been heard or released. On them she is intellectual, analytical, philosophical, and esoteric in her thinking. There are remarkable insights on her from stories she wrote as a young girl, which show an extreme and fearless appetite for adventure and spiritual experience. 

They all mean that for the first time Kristen Pfaff gets to speak, and not be overshadowed by anyone else. I am keen to preserve and showcase her voice as much as possible, unencumbered by mine.

The book also draws from a bank of video interviews Jason did with many people that knew and worked with Kristen throughout her life. I’ve interviewed as well as Jason Pfaff Kristen’s mother, and many previous partners and friends and people who worked with Kristen. Jason also wrote a most insightful afterword for the book about his sister and what has happened since her death.

My priority is ensuring the Pfaff family, who have been through so much, are supported as well as possible which sometimes means pressing pause on a book when people are grieving or when the book throws up challenges for those involved. 

But my second priority after the Pfaff’s is sharing as much as we can about Pfaff’s life as possible to finally offer her the rich portrait she deserves. As an academic, activist, counsellor and musician Pfaff packed a lot into her 27 years and this book will very much focus on celebrating the positives of her life and her time as a key member of the cult band Janitor Joe, putting the spotlight onto the years in which less is known about Pfaff. The book will also celebrate the contribution she and the other writers of 'Live Through This' made in creating such a masterpiece. 

Amongst other revelations Kristen's tapes allow an insight into how such an extraordinary album came to be made. I want to emphasise there is no motivation to say anything or allow anything to be said about Pfaff’s former bandmates that is not in service of a constructive portrait of Pfaff's life. Anyone whose life is being discussed in a biography deserves to be described with sensitivity. As a Hole fan I have no motivation to be negative although of course sharing Pfaff’s insights on her time in this band can, with sensitivity, address the motivation for there to finally be a deeper insight into her life and times if approached with thoughtfulness. Kristen Pfaff deserves to finally take the spotlight. 

The book is more focused on her life than on conspiracy theory but does not shy away from the difficult task of evaluating the wealth of new information we have in service of the goal of completing the picture and writing a sensitive, nuanced portrait of Pfaff that takes into consideration existing narratives about her. But another priority has been to do no harm to people who would clearly be affected by her death. However much a researcher can have new insights it does not mean they can fully know the context in which events happened when they weren't there. You can follow the evidence and have to own the point at which the evidence ends. 

The first results of the work of the last few years on this front were my 2022 TEDx talk on my experience of listening to Kristen Pfaff's previously unheard diary tapes and opening her archive & how this made me re-open the archive from my own youth. The TEDx talk contains new insights on the marriage Pfaff kept secret from her family, her spearheading role in women and gay rights activism and it shares previously unseen photos and more. 

I have been very taken aback by how many people have come to me kindly expressing their excitement- daily- about the book or sharing things they want to tell me about Pfaff. I have never been involved in a project that has had such huge interest from across the world. People from Russia, Brazil, Australia and many other countries have been kind enough to get in touch. The book was cited in the podcast 'The Tragedy of Grunge and the Pacific North West Music Scene', a respectful and meticulously researched podcast which can be heard here. And this before it is even published!

A number of people, including Pfaff's former partner Mike Huber, talked of the project putting him in touch with and generating conversations between people who haven't spoken in decades. Elizabeth Tuico- who knew Pfaff, interviewed me about the process behind the book, which can be found here. A Frank Lopez told of how the book 'helped spur a meeting of some of the old people I ran with, good times talking about memories of Kristen Pfaff.' The Australian artist Fonda Shae sent me, from the other side of the world, an evocative painting of Pfaff. 

Irina Jihoshvili created a series of mooted book covers for it, even though it is yet to find a publisher (and I have been part of many projects that have been published which have had a fraction of this interest!) And there are many others whose input is exciting but about which it is too soon to share. 

Given the sheer excitement of the book it was great in 2023 to have its first chapter published by 3AM Magazine, who published also the poetry of Sonic Youth's Thurston Moore, who Pfaff was a fan of. The chapter can be read here

As of late 2023 the book and film rights for the Kristen Pfaff book are with Matthew Hamilton at The Hamilton Agency of Holland Park, London, who was behind recent books on Elliott Smith and The Raincoats. It seems fitting and apt for Kristen Pfaff to thereby be alongside other authors and musicians the agency represents like Tim Burgess, Cosey Fanni Tutti, Tim Booth and Mogwai's Stuart Braithwaite. Matthew's enthusiasm for the Kristen Pfaff book puts the project in great hands.

Agency website here (The Hamilton Agency Limited, 12a Portland Road, London, W11 4LA).

The link to my TEDx talk is here